What type of person are you? One that loses their mind after Halloween with the anticipatory thrill about upcoming holidays? One who just takes it a day at a time and enjoys the preparations along the way? Or one who basically dreads the whole idea and would rather crawl into a hole? We are all different and that is A-OK.
Holidays are a mixed bag. For those of us with childhood trauma, I have seen that often one of two reactions is pretty common. One, we embrace the chance to create loving, happy, fun memories in a way we don’t remember experiencing as a child. Or, two, we are so overwhelmed with memories and pain of the past that we shut down and want to just skip all things “holiday’-ish and move quickly onto the new year. I understand both responses.
What I can say to you is this: holiday self-care during is not just important, it’s FUNDAMENTAL to our well-being. I want to lovingly encourage you to take some time and figure out exactly how you’re feeling in your mind and in your body. Secondly, sit quietly and ask yourself what you need for yourself in the next several weeks. If we don’t take the time to be aware of what puts us into a peaceful mindset, we may never reach our fullest potential of actually ENJOYING the season.
Maybe you need to get your meals planned and shopping done so you can relax and enjoy the time leading up to each holiday. Maybe you need to destress FROM getting your meals planned and shopping done! Maybe you need to figure out how to lighten your load and make sure you’re not overwhelming your brain and causing yourself anxiety. Maybe for you, relaxation comes with a warm bath each night after completing the day’s tasks. Perhaps a cup of hot cocoa and a nice visit with a friend is the perfect winding down activity after running around like crazy getting things done. OR maybe you need to focus on loving relationships with your Another Mother family to give you support and comfort. All I’m saying is that it’s important to not just THINK about these things, but actually have a plan of action to put into place because YOU DESERVE IT. Mental health MATTERS every day but whew- it is especially important during the holidays.
Please check out our IG and TT where I have posted some self-care ideas for you that are easy to understand and put into practice. Also, be sure to join the Another Mother Nuggets (private FB group) where you can participate in the General Chat with your sisters and get some fun, encouragement, and safe conversation. I so hope that this holiday season brings you new wonderful experiences and that you are at a place where you are beginning to know your worth and that you are loved.
Let me know in the comments how you are doing and feeling about the holidays this year. I’m over here having to do my own work of making sure I am taking care of myself and not getting too overwhelmed. It’s easy to do- but at least we have the support of this loving family.
Hang in there, we’ve got this!
This is the first year that I'm not dreading the holidays because of you and our AM family. I've always dreaded November and December. It's always been a time of sadness and not feeling like I belonged anywhere or to anyone. It's incredible the difference it makes in having loving relationships and knowing that you are cared about. This feeling of belonging is one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given.
When those past feelings of dread and sadness try to show up, I now have tools that I can use to navigate through them and come out on the other side with a new perspective. You've taught me how to "do the work" and that I'm worthy of…