The chaos of Christmas is behind us, and the New Year is upon us. I don’t know if you can relate, but once Christmas is over, I am ready to get ALL of the decorations down and OUT. OF. MY. SIGHT. I know that may seem weird to some people, but I’ve never been one to relish things like that outside of the holiday window - I’m realizing actually not even ONE DAY after the holiday.
To be honest, while I can respect other peoples’ preferences without any issue in just about anything in life, I AM that person who sighs, says “uuuugh” out loud and physically shudders when I see Christmas ornaments arriving in the stores in August. You think I jest. I assure you I am not kidding. I simply CANNOT wrap my head around that. I don’t like it. I don’t want it. And playing Christmas music in September or putting up my tree before Thanksgiving is a HARD NO in Missy’s world.
So, when Christmas is over, I am all about “out with the old, in with the new”. I love the feeling I have when all the Christmas stuff is put away and my home is kind of a peaceful and more of a “blank” canvas. My space is very very colorful, but I try to keep decor down to a bit of a minimum because I don’t have a lot of square footage. I was thinking yesterday how I sort of apply this way of thinking in my personal life, as well.
People get excited about the holidays and go crazy jumping into the traditions. People get excited about the New Year approaching and go crazy about the tradition of making New Year’s Resolutions. Betcha you can guess which person here is not into that EITHER. Haha While I may not sigh, or say, “ugh” out loud or physically shudder at the thought, I will tell you that for me, I do not find New Year’s Resolutions to be motivating or helpful. I wonder if you are the same way.
I know that my healing journey, as all are, is ongoing and sometimes done in large leaps and other times baby steps. To believe that we have finally “arrived” at COMPLETE healing is a recipe for disappointment, discouragement and maybe even depression if there is an instance of being triggered again -whatever the cause. Conversely, if we believe that we will NEVER have any growth or success, we can have the same emotional consequences. When I look at the idea of setting up New Year’s resolutions, I am struck that they could provoke the same reaction within myself.
If I set up a goal or goals for the next year and fail to meet them, I KNOW I will feel disappointed in myself. And even while I have done lots of work around Cognitive Distortions, I know that they can still pop-up and try to grab my attention for a second. I’d rather not set myself up for that and simply avoid it all together. That is an example of self care and also protecting Her.
I have limited space in my day (just like in my home) for all the things I want and need to do. Rather than make a list of resolutions, I would prefer to create a list of things that are important to me, PRIORITIZE them, and then create a schedule that helps me get them done. If I want to add something new to that list of priorities, that’s FINE, but to place it in my head space as a RESOLUTION…something I PLEDGE to accomplish within a certain time frame… is placing too much VALUE on it for my inner peace. My worth, my strength, my beauty is not determined by creating a standard for myself that simply will not work reasonably within my bandwidth.
I encourage YOU to determine what works best for you mentally and emotionally. For some of you, making Resolutions may not be a problem. I want you all to take a close look though. If you feel even the tiniest sense of fear or dread around New Year’s Resolutions perhaps consider doing what I do and simply make a pretty little list of your PRIORITIES for the day/week/month. This allows you to put nice little check marks by them once completed and saves you from potentially falling into self-condemnation or feeling like you are a failure if you weren’t able to honor your resolution.
I mentioned this book in my last blog, but it’s worth mentioning it again because I just ate this book up – like neck deep! The book is titled – “How to Be and Adult” by David Richo. Click on the title link or the Amazon icon to go buy it and add it to YOUR must-read list and bookshelf.
Anyway, in Chapter 6: Values and Self-Esteem, David connects our values with our identity – Here’s my favorite quote from that chapter.
"Notice how many choices you make to feel good and make more choices to feel good about YOURSELF."
SO GOOOD!!
I’m here to keep my life simple, full of peace and light and to keep my circle full of only positive people and positive energy. Making resolutions for 2023 is a No-Go for me. Do what brings you peace. And don’t worry about me…I’ll just be over here doodling on my cute little NOT RESOLUTIONS list.
I would like to say that I like the holidays but it's the opposite for me. I always struggle when holidays come. I feel sad because I don't have a family of my own. I don't do New Year resolution either because I am afraid of failing and feeling so let down when I don't reach my goals.